Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes

Spend 20 seconds and these quotes will bring out insightful thoughts in a funny way.

Image of The Best Way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream

The Best Way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream

Bill Murray

Image of A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Jerry Seinfeld

Image of You can't scare me -- I have a two year old

You can't scare me -- I have a two year old

Anonymous

Image of If you want the truth, ask a child

If you want the truth, ask a child

Anonymous

Image of You will always be your child's favorite toy

You will always be your child's favorite toy

Vicki Lansky

Image of The easiest way to teach children the value of money is to borrow some from them!

The easiest way to teach children the value of money is to borrow some from them!

Anonymous

Image of Having one child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee

Having one child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee

David Frost

Image of A kid's idea of a balanced diet is a hamburger in each hand

A kid's idea of a balanced diet is a hamburger in each hand

Anonymous

Image of I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I'm still looking for ideas.

I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I'm still looking for ideas.

Anonymous

Image of Be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

Be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

Phyllis Diller

Image of If you've given up on trying to get something open, tell a 4-year-old not to touch it

If you've given up on trying to get something open, tell a 4-year-old not to touch it

Sun, Laurens, Lowa